The other times

Today has been a roller-coaster of emotions. Sometimes we think, we have seen it all. But fate takes extra care to slap you in the face with reality. Every notion that you believed in, breaks down, every thought comes to a standstill. Maybe it is this unpredictability, good or bad that life offers that I love.

There are a few demands that I have always wanted from life as a little girl. Though the list varied from time to time, few remains etched. For one, I know it is hopeless to hope for, still it is that childish desire, fetish crave that make me yearn. And it is dissolved in a lot of 'what if's' that I try avoiding that line of thinking. But when I come across people, and understand them through time, it wakes me up and I search answers within myself cos it isnt very easy talking about it. There is always this constant smirk of inner voice, mocking that I sometimes feel so foolish to even dream. What is the use? Temptation would only make a slave out of me. I am one such, who does not remain the same. I get addicted and finally lose myself in that web, and deny outside and say that I am just fine. Because I deny myself. Because the emptiness never mattered. Ah! you notice, I'm using past tense. Bull shit. Whom am I kidding.