Peace in Pieces

Lately there had been quite an inner struggle, I was my own adversary. Living I found, is completely filled with decisions and responsibilities and an irresistible urge to let go of both and be free of thought and leave all the decision-making to someone wiser and be wild. I don't think I have ever been this controlled, by myself. Its like, pinning the pallu of the saree and showcasing calm, when all you ever want to do is a free flowing experience. See that border in the photograph above. I hate it

I waited for some inner voice to shout out loud, and that did not happen. Sometimes talking helps, but somehow this only led to further irrational judgments that after a point, I came to not-trodden path. Or so I thought. Turns out everyone chose the same one but was just as discreet not to leave any footprint behind.

The war. Between tradition and modernity. Between values that were taught a thousand fold and what the heart desires. And between irrationality and sensibility. The same war that took place eons ago for the wrong reasons. Now returns back for the right ones.

But now you noticed that I said "There had been an inner struggle". Yes, my decision is made. And quite happy about it and looking forward to a celebration and unforgettable moments. I wonder, I do wonder if everyone goes through this struggle, or makes up their mind head-on. I think by struggling, I valued and left some meaning to my tradition (quite proud of it). And by deciding, I chose to believe in myself. And hence clearer.

Lack of green in my blog for a long time. Hence the picture. From my Munnar trip. Love the colour and the mist.

I see I am ever changing.