Possessed

He seized me with such sweet madness, I succumbed to his ruthless power as my head twirled, leaving me breathless afloat, as a raft is to water. A slow strong pull, gently letting go, the teasing and the bullying, and again pulling towards him, passion-driven defying gravity, defying control, defying self, seducing towards that vast blackness, as he possessed me. And then there was no him or me. There was just one being. This entwinement, like long silk tresses bound by a band of a young girl jumping about, playing at dusk, this entwinement, like dark green ivy weaving around red bricks, this entwinement, oh this entwinement.. bringing upon a feeling of wholeness, fulfilling the darkest deepest desires, of being alive. I closed my eyes, to be gently wafted, ruffled, as he whispered, caressed, with only his voice reverberating, an echo of emotions that will never be forgotten.. We swirled and conquered the skies, tangoed in the cyclones, a beautiful rhythm creating a fog separating reality and stealing moments, the oneness never breaking. Always holding me with such possessiveness, that I was no one else's, wanton behaviours, I could hear myself shouting with glee. Weathering every storm we reached the end, nay, there was no death for us, but other stillness that could stop even winds, and so he stopped. He broke his promise, lay me over the earth, numb, for other winds to bride me. As a feather, all I can do is hope.

Listening to the track Water Side (Laya Project) - 4min 35secs, possessed.

'Crrrrush'ed!

And then you get attracted to this man, silent and observant and you think he is a man of very few words, only to find out he's actually got nothing to say! *chuckle*

Off note

I seem to have no command whatsoever of the Kaapi raagam. I have sung and worn out listeners too, probably of having sung, 'Meevalla gunadhosha' at almost all navarathri functions, when you have the usual iyer mami's gently jostling you to sing in front of golu, in exchange for spicy sundals. It is still one of my all time favourite song for the simple fact, that the raagam touches that highest note in nishabd(Ni) which elevates your spirit. I learnt it when I was in my 9th standard and I very much remember practising the song over night to get everything right. Just like how M and myself did for 'Kadhakudhuhalam' raagam's Varnam just to get it right in the third speed!

Back to Kaapi. We are doing 'Enna thavam' for the Bombay concert and the raagam part in the begining, I just dont seem to get it right. The other day, I travelled completely to Karaharapriya! Total Damage! The violinist raised her eyebrows and smiled. Somehow managed through to complete that.

So this concert, I saw the stage we were going to perform in the net. It looks absoloutely HUGE. Quite a bit of a shock really. Imagine perforing in your living room all these years in front of a highly critical crowd of mami's and patti's though [(who wil definitely try to intervene to bring different avarthanas), still they were all part of family] and one outdoorsy concert four months back infront of a hundred plus crowd and now suddenly this huge hall.

Everyone is a professional in my group. They all perform in classical/fusion concerts, marriages and lot more places. I'm the only one out of the league. And I seem to commit every possible mistake to wreck their efforts. I am going to try my best. But I know that even my best is nowhere close to their worsts :( I just stopped singing practices three years back and I kind of regret it now.

Theory of Relativity

When mom goes out of station, I find myself adding a little more butter on my bread, more ghee in my food, more cheese on my pasta, buy more chocolates and search for creamy biscuits, get flowers and fill the house, get cornetto icecreams and stuff it in fridge, add more sugar in my tea, wear her overall, and light agarbhathis in the morning.

If this the combination I try replacing you, in your absence mom, well, it sure fattens me up! :)

Love you amma, Happy mothers day.

Pukarta chala hoon mein,