Damn

I just dont understand why some people cant accept others just the way they are. I mean, what the hell is your f***ing problem. Cant others hold on to opinions of their own? However lousy it is, its still mine. My way of thinking might be way different from your oh-i-am-so-sane one, my judgements might be wrong, but its still f***ing mine.
And there are this other lousy bunch that goes. 'Oh I told you so.' Oh thankyou people. Cos that really makes me feel good. I bow to you Lord Labakdases who really think that my business needs your attention and care. I also appreciate for the fact that apart from minding my business, you really also take time to stick your hairy nose and point out and advice when not asked. Bravo! *clap* *clap*
No seriously, are you really bothered? Isnt it that you are so damn tempted to make the other feel smaller than Tom Thumb? What sadistic pleasure you get out of depriving.
Whats with people when I say I am not interested in relationships. Really. Dont you get it or you havent done anything to take care of your brain hemmorhage or you dont comprehend basic English. Do take up Vendhan tutorials and spare the others atleast. Single women do not mean desperate women. Even if I want to be in one, you are definitely not 'it'.
Even when I am trying to heal myself of certain prejudices, you all twist my hand forcefully and push me back to the square one.
Love is not a frigging game to fool around. If you cant respect it, dont spoil it for others.
Why why. Never have I meant to harm anyone. Why should I get hurt? Try to be occupied with something or other and idle mind is really a devils workshop. I make my schedules full only to feel more empty than ever. What is wanted out of me. Take it and leave me a-l-o-n-e. I do not care whether you live but just let live.
Damn. Damn. Damn.

Reading for Suresh Kumar

He is from Thiruchendhur doing his second year BA Literature, in Pachaiyappa. And he is blind.

After agreeing to do voluntary work, I was told to go to one Bharath Senior School in Adyar at 4. "Reading is from 4-6p.m.", they said. Arriving at the school, I was asked to choose to read tamil/english. English, being my obvious choice, I was sent this student whose exams were fast approaching in October. Thats how I met Suresh. I guided him to the nearest bench and made him sit next to me. He opened his plastic bag, and took out his 'History of English Literature' and handed it over to me. "I've read till Bernard Shaw. We need to start from the next writer", he said. While I flipped through the pages, frantically searching for the topic, he said, "Look over English Drama", and I found B. Shaw.
The next writer was , J.M. Synge. I started reading, quite aloud. When he stopped me and asked to move to a different place, to get away from the other voices that were disturbing him. The class was itslef filled with lots of blind students and their readers. We left the class and walked to the school playground, found ourselves a bench and sat down to an evening of hard core English playwrighters.
Though I was reading aloud, I was constantly looking at him for expressions and reactions. His eyes were half closed, as I could see grey pupils beneath them but he had this constant smile over his lips that I still cannot stop thinking about. His english knowledge was barely enough to understand complicated descriptions, neither was mine, but I was trying hard to make him understand, trying to replace with tamil examples, but was only left feeling a little disappointed in myself. The more I tried to make him understand, I felt I was misleading him and felt quite at loss whether I was doing any justice to what I was teaching him.
He did feel sleepy. :) Yes, after about an hour he was trying to shut out his yawn but in vain. He was trying to be polite. But could not stop when a big one conquered him. Which was when I yawned too! When we were done with two writers and a half, I stopped for a while and asked him how he coped up with this subject. He said they had tapes that they constantly listened to. And about exams? Do they type it? "We have scribes for that. Tomorrow if you decide to write for me, I will have to dictate my answers, and thats how we submit papers. We have 3 hours for that. They give us 15 minutes extra."
I usually accept to try new stuffs. Sometimes they make me bored stiff and some really make me interested and exceptional cases, clueless. This was one such. I looked over the playground in the middle of our session and there were school children playing in the playground and more than a dozen people with their readers spread over the corridors that encompassed the ground. What a contrast!
When we were done with the session, he asked me whether I would come the next day. I really did not know. I did want to and the same time confused whehter I would help him at all or waste his hours of study.

I dont know. Tomorrow is another day.

The Window

Wafts. Thoughts. Breeze. Drowsy. Dreams. Blur. Doped. Sink. Abyss. Falling. Depths. Dark. Black. Tinge. Cold. Alone. Corner. Rigid. Splash. Plunge. Water. Blue. Transperant. Wavy. Corals. Dance. Stroke. School. Fish. Up. Sea. Air. Gulp. Alive. Float. Still. Relax. Sky. Clear. Beach. Sand. Green. Virgin. Jungle. Collapse. Tide. Time. Awake. Run. Fly. Wings. Soar. Far. Clouds. Rain. Drenched. Shelter. Tree. Perch. Nest. Home. Sleep. Hours. Morning. Dew. Leaves. Scent. Bud. Blooms. Colours. Easel. Brush. Canvas. White. Space. Infinity. Horizon. Line. Streak. Rays. Branches. Filters. Speckles. Kaleidoscope. Design. Passion. Kiss. Touch. Enerve. Memories. Reel. Film. Scene. Shot. Act. Mask. Reveal. Stare. Mirror. Melt. Evaporate. Wafts.